"Watchmen"

2009

R

Produced by: Lawrence Gordon, Lloyd Levin, Deborah Snyder

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Written by: David Hayter, Alex Tse

Starring: Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode

Warner Bros. 

2.22/5 Stars

Consensus: A butchery of one of the greatest novels of all time,  Watchmen feels like it was made by a bunch of prepubescent boys with too much money. Snyder seems to care only about sex and violence, and throws all other aspects of; plot, character development, and human emotion, under the bus. Alan Moore has every right to be furious about this mishap of a film. 

Plot: In an alternate universe, where masked vigilantes have played a major role in modern history, there has been a plot discovered to kill off retired, and now outlawed, vigilantes known as the "Watchmen". 

Directing: Considering the rich and deeply philosophical source material from which the film is based, director Zack Snyder comes off as childish and shallow due to his overemphasis of sex and violence within the film. Not that he had an easy job, as I stated, the original graphic novel is extremely deep and has many layers that would be difficult to translate into film, one of the reasons this particular project was put off for so long. Unfortunately, getting the ever breast obsessed Snyder to direct the film adaptation of what may be the greatest graphic novel of all time was a poor choice for Warner Bros. company. In fact the only aspect of the film Snyder seemed interested in at all was the exaggerated, weird violence, and awful uncomfortable sex scenes. There seems to have been little or no attention paid to the plot, philosophy, or ideas, which the source material incorporated so gorgeously. I couldn't tell if Snyder was just trying to shock the audience or if he really genuinely thought that audiences were going to this film to see campy and gross sex that was barely, if at all, included in the original graphic novel? Snyder does not appear to have thought, cared or been interested in any of the unique and profound psychosis of any of the characters, nor did he seem to care how his actors portrayed these otherwise deep and thoughtful arch-types, as long as they were willing to get naked or torture somebody. Between senseless variations from the novel, that were less effective, to added sex scenes that were uncomfortable, long, and awkward Snyder proves to have the mentality of a pubescent 15 year old that got handed a camera. 1/2

Acting: With seemingly little direction from their, well… director, the actors struggle to say the least. Billy Crudup (Dr. Manhattan) appears to do an OK job, Crudup manages to come across as the cool, analytical super genius his character is. With some added vocal effects in post production he is convincing and easily the most appealing of this kitschy and poorly directed cast. That said, Crudup's character, although arguably the best developed of the Watchmen in the film, is still somewhat of a one trick pony. He is cool and analytical, and has occasional outbursts of emotion. That's all. Next up we have Jackie Earl Haley playing the ever troubled and dark "Rorschach". Haley's performance is something one would expect from a high school film project, campy, one-sided, and over the top in the worst way. It's like he didn't even read the source material, and his over exuberant macho just comes off, again, like a 15 year old trying to shock people. If he were in the local high school theater his performance may be acceptable, but between his over gruff voice that feels, and sounds, forced and fake rather than the product of a genuine street hardened vigilante, and a couple clips where it almost looks like he is laughing at the outrageous and stupid direction the script is going, its not a big surprise Haley hasn't really shown up in much else. Malin Akerman (Silke Specter II) seemed desperate and over the top. She would do better in a soap opera however as her bad melodrama sounds unconvincing and forced. Again, almost like she didn't read the source material, and is perhaps reading the script for the first time from a teleprompter. Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl) just seems bored with the whole thing, almost like he didn't even want the role but decided at a half job with the prospect of getting to do a sex scene with Akerman. The acting was poor, shooty and unconvincing. *

Editing: For all the bad things to say about Snyder’s work in this film, he does have a good eye for editing, especially in fight scenes. Following up from 300(2006) the stylized and over the top slow motion style fights he includes here are well paced and flashy. For this we need to give him credit, other scenes are well assembled too, especially dream, or flashback sequences wherein we get cool angles and camera effects. The voiceovers and sound editing are especially well done (even when those voiceovers are Rorschach’s ever laughable gravel). The editing was overall impressive and well done, however they could have cut about most or all of the gratuitous (and added) sex scenes and edited in essential plot points that they decided to sacrifice or omit. ****

Art Direction: The potential in this area was dwindled, especially considering the vivid and gorgeous world from which they could have drawn from, when one adapts a comic book, it seems to me it would be easy to follow the designs already drawn for you in the book. They didn't completely fail, but many of the shots seem as contemporary 2000s as much as they are 1980's alternate universe. The film struggled to truly find the nostalgia it needed to be successful, and this is again, disappointing, considering the blatantly drawn and graphically depicted source material available to them. At times clothing or set designs seem to have been given the "sure whatever" approval from what appears to be an ever aloof Snyder, and his undirected crew. The make-up was also spotty and poorly done, Robert Wisdon, made up to look like Richard Nixon, is a joke. You can see the layers of make up caked on his face to create the laughable "illusion", something you would expect from a bad b-film not from something with such a-list potential. **

Cinematography: This aspect also went from being super cool and vivid to super bland and uninteresting. That said there isn't anything particularly wrong with it, it just seems like it was given the finest attention at times and at other times it seems they just put a camera up without paying attention to angles or anything. Such carelessness is surprising, considering the vivid and close attention paid to cinematography in the opening sequence of the film, to have it later fall flat, and, at times, not even attempt to follow framework from the graphic novel. It is disappointing, and painfully obvious when juxtaposed to the intense and vivid work of some scenes, let alone the source material. **

Screenplay: The screenplay followed dialogue of the graphic novel fairly well, but also called for and included the worst. Sex scene. Ever. Rarely does a single scene manage to ruin an entire film so thoroughly. Silk Spectre II and Nite Owl's scene inside Archimedes (Nite Owl's ship) done to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is possibly the worst, campiest, and most uncomfortable thing I've ever seen in my entire life. How you get a two frame instance in the graphic novel into a full blown two minute scene that ends with Silk Spectre hitting the flamethrower button on the ship, presumably because what is happening is so "hot" is mind numbing. Awful, disgusting, weird, and campy this single scene would have ruined the film, even if the rest of the film had been the greatest thing since Citizen Kane(1941) which it certainly wasn't. Rorschach dialogue is the highlight of the screenplay, which follows the crisp and socially detached rhetoric of the novel, but it is still butchered by Haley's awful grumble (when I first heard him speak I had to audibly snort out of amusement and disbelief). The screenplay had its moments of truth, but ultimately has glaring and hideous flaws within it. **

CGI/Special Effects: This was actually very well done. Much like the majority of contemporary American film, Watchmen was largely dependent on this aspect, and it may be the only thing it did well. Especially the character Dr. Manhattan, who was entirely CGI generated, appeared very well done, and as "realistic" as the character could be, i.e. he only looked like a video game as much as his character just does anyway. So bravo Snyder, you didn't totally screw up at least one aspect of this brilliant story. ****